Silence.

I walk through those doors and instantly feel the need to get out.
I dont know what it is....but i hate it here, not that i hate everyone here, thats not it at all, I just hate the feeling.
So much tension and negative presence. I hate the yelling that happens.
I could spend the whole day outside. Laying in the grass and letting spring just be there. With the coulds and the breeze. And the sun and the birds, and the people walking their dogs. I love it. I could live outside.
Mostly everyday I walk through those doors and just instantly walk upstairs. I cant handle being downstairs for a while. I dont know whats wrong. Its not that i dont enjoy being with them, I do most of the time. I like watching game shows with Tristan and my mom. I like sitting with Kalee watching lost. I like playing board games with my dad and Dayton. I like playing WII with my siblings. I like watching my dad cook.
But then i get out and i take a walk or i go with friends to lunch. Or on a drive with my favorite Becky. Or to the park. Or just to swing by myself.
And i feel perfect and so much better. I feel just overwhelmed with assurance and safety. I feel like thats where i need to be. I want time to stop during lunch at school because i love my table and our conversations. Whenever im having a wonderful talk with someone i want time to freeze. I want that conversartion to last as long as possible. I love being with my friends.
I always feel like i need to get away and be with someone i trust. Im not depressed. I just like to be either by myself or with the people that i know love me for who i am and can help me with anything.
Or even just to talk to them works most of the time. I just need to..........
Run.
Swing.
Take a walk.
Sit outside.
Anything.

Peace.Love.